marriage in a box

"A journey is like marriage. The certain way to be wrong is to think you control it." - John Steinbeck

Do you ever feel like you are in a box in your marriage? Sometimes your box is enormous and you can move along freely, and then sometimes your box is so tiny it is built just to fit your body with no breathing room at all. Being married for as long as I have has given into many dimensions of the box I live in. There are times I can see light through my box, but many times I see total darkness. I wonder at times if I was different, or lived differently would my box be wide open with all the space I ever needed. I talk to the one who creates my box, but it never seems like it is enough. The more I talk, the smaller the box becomes. If I conform to the one who has created my box, then it gets bigger. Do you think it is because the more I conform the more the creator allows the box to be bigger to do the thing the creator wants me to do? I fight all day and all night to get out of my box, or to at least have the flaps open, but I can never quite get it. Today I am drilling a hole in my box to get to the light, to get the hole big enough to step out. I wonder once I get out if I would rather be back in my box.