Tuesday, November 16, 2010

prince charming verses soul mate

"Our soul mate is the one who makes life come to life."  -Richard Bach

When I was little I watched a marriage that was the epitome of dysfunctional.  I dreamt of finding my prince charming, my soul mate, to whisk me away and forever protect me and teach and show me love.  At the very young age of 17 I met my husband.  I wasn't living at home anymore because of safety issues.  He was a police officer in the town I lived in.  Of course I thought he was Prince Charming.  He said all the right things, he did the right things, he cared about what I liked.  We dated five months, then shortly after I turned 18 we got married.  He was my first, and my only sexual partner.  If I had to describe our marriage I would call it one of control, insecurities, and distrust tangled with happiness, children, and love.  Now after 15 years it is a battle of wills.  One might look at us and think we have the "perfect marriage".  It is amazing how difficult it is to deceive the people around you.  I love my husband and I truly believe he was my Prince Charming, but sadly I have realized he is not my soul mate.  I used to be carefree and happy all of the time.  I dealt with things at home when I was younger and I knew that my life would be better some day.  After getting married I changed to someone who struggles with happiness, and is very quiet, and not so carefree.  I miss my old self.  When part of my old self reappears then my husband will attempt to tame it.  My "box" that I mentioned in my last post is cold, dark, and suffocating.  I yearn to have a deep love, a deep sense of passion for my partner, a partner who loves every aspect of me and doesn't try to conform me to what they think I should be like.  I want someone who wants to do new things, try new things, and doesn't care about the world around us.  A soul mate is one I believe that will gladly do things for you, because of you.  Prince Charming is one who, I believe, wants to look good to other people while doing it.  I want my soul mate.        

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